When was the last time you ditched the kids and went on a date with your hubby? I’ll be honest… I can’t remember. When you are like us and travel all over the place, it’s hard to find a baby sitter. These twelve crazy realities of parent dates are something that almost all parents can relate to!
When you become a parent your life gets turned upside-down. Sure, you might be determined to keep your life as normal as possible, but lets face it, when you have a kid who doesn’t sleep (ever) and exploding diapers to change, just carrying out the regular pieces of the day can be difficult, let alone add in the complexities of actually planning a date with your spouse.
Plus, I have four kids. And we’ve lived in lots of places where we couldn’t drop the kids off at grandma’s house and hit the town… okay, so in the 14 years that we’ve been married we’ve lived less than two years near grandparents… Do you know how hard it is to get away from four children?!?!?
Let’s break this down…
12 Crazy Realities of Parent Dates
- You must plan a minimum of one month in advance. Because you’re going to need a babysitter and you don’t want to risk your one usable babysitter being busy on the day that you are setting your hopes on. Forget spontaneity people…. it’s just not going to happen. (Unless we’re talking about spontaneously messy diapers. Those definitely will happen… 10 seconds before you head out the door.)
- Because you’ve planned one month in advance for this date, everyone will try to ruin it by planning all their absolutely can’t miss events on your precious night of freedom. Every extra-curricular activity your children are involved will schedule an event on that one night. You may need to pick an alternate date, one-month and one-week in advance as a replacement.
- And because you’ve planned a date a month in advance you will start to feel sick the day before your precious date time. You will want to have your cupboards stocked with supplements like Emergen-C to “Let Your Healthy Out”. You definitely don’t want to be sick and have to cancel.
- Forget, cute little purse. You will realize as you are getting dressed for your date that you have no cute little purse. The only purse you have could fit a small child inside. (Make sure you leave him at home…) So you put your wallet, ChapStick, bottle of lotion, pen, and notebook inside the giant-sized purse and ponder the thought of buying a cute little purse while on your date. Then you will remember that this only happens once in a blue moon, so it’s not a financially savvy decision
- Every crazy thing your kids can think of, they will accomplish in the 10 minutes before you plan to leave. Which will cause the babysitter that you’ve been counting on for a month, to second-guess herself for agreeing to spend the evening with these monsters (I mean, precious children). They will spill grape juice, have potty-training accidents, your most docile child will suddenly punch her sister. The baby will have a diaper explosion and your toddler will have a separation anxiety meltdown when she realizes that you are getting ready to walk out that door.
- You, in all your awesomeness, will think of a creative way to weasel yourself out of the house, past the writhing toddler who is trying to block all exits. Bribery is not necessarily a bad thing at this point…
- After releasing yourself from the chaos that is currently in your home (ah, forget that… houses with children rarely are free from chaos!) you will need to pop some Advil for the crazy child-induced headache that is threatening to destroy your evening.Use Advil tablets for headaches, minor arthritis and other joint pain, muscle aches and pains of the common cold that would keep you from enjoying your evening. Make sure that you have that in your purse when you walk out the door!
- After you are on your way, you and your spouse will agree that you will not talk about your children while on your date because it is “your” time. That will last five minutes. You will spend the rest of your evening discussing your children.
- You will pick a restaurant or an event that you would not take your children to. This will remind you to talk even more about your children…. If You Give a Mouse a Cookie…
- If you are anything like my hubby and me, about halfway through your meal you will run out of things to talk about because you’ve been married for 14 very happy years and you tell each other everything daily, like an instant replay of the moments that you’ve been away from each other. Therefore, you won’t have anything new to discuss.
- You will end your date by going to Wal-Mart and buying something totally practical like diapers for the baby, new sippy cups for the toddler and a bribe for the older kids as a reward for allowing you to exit the house for something more than going to Wal-Mart for groceries… don’t forget you need some milk too. *wink*
- And finally pull out your ChapStick Total Hydration conveniently stashed in your overly humongous purse that instantly smoothes and moisturizes your lips because you want your lips to not be chapped and cracked when your Mr. Right leans in to kiss you goodnight. (You want to make those few moments worth the effort!