“Mom, will you play a game with me?” Such a sweet request. So enticing. So simple.
“Not right now” seems to always slip out of my mouth. I regret it even before I finish the sentence, but back-tracking feels so insincere. As if they can immediately tell that at that particular moment, they weren’t my priority.
I’m a busy person. I have four kids. I have a husband. I have a church. I have a work-from-home job. (You know, this blog…) And somehow, somewhere those three little words became a habit to me.
My kids will still love me.
They are used to me being busy.
They can find a sister to play with.
They can find an independent activity.
They can go outside and play.
Some of the lies that I tell myself.
I hate it. With all of my being I hate it. I have a hard time changing my self-imposed schedule. As if the world will collapse and go into ruin if I don’t finish something by the deadline that I created myself.
I absolutely love all the people that I have met through blogging. You. I love the people in our church. I love being able to create school resources for my own kids. (And have them actually enjoy learning.) I love almost everything that I do.
But sometimes, a lot of times, the balance gets all out of whack.
“Mommy, will you…”
A million times “Yes!”
I want to play a game. I want to play with play dough. I want to string beads onto spaghetti sticks. I want to play ponies with you while you sit on the potty for fun (even though you have yet to actually use the potty!) I want to dance with you. I want to sing with you. I want to skip down the street with you, even if that’s not socially acceptable in this country.
To my pre-teen: I want to shop with you even when we don’t have money. I want to have lunch with you. I want to talk about your friendships, the things you are reading, the ideas you are exploring. I want to hold you when you are crying because you miss our other “home”. I want to help you learn new ways to fix your hair.
I want to be with you.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not an absent or neglectful parent. I am with my kids almost 24/7. We school together. We eat 10+ meals a week together (at the table.) I talk to them. I play with them.
Just not always when they need it. “Not right now.”
Do I have all the magic answers? No. Absolutely not. Because I’m human. I’m not perfect and I will continue to fail.
I understand that we do have deadlines that we really do need to reach. Because we aren’t living on love… But my goal is to adjust those deadlines to create more flexibility for “Yes!”
Are you a “Not right now”-mom? Tell me what your plan is to say good-bye to the “Not right now” mommy! Let’s encourage each other to say “yes!” to the right things!